Amazingly less helpful than him. He told me, without telling me, more than "early evening". Because he's a-- [No words will describe; Nikos scowls deeply at nothing, at the image he has of Kostos in his mind's eye. Like his own face, haloed with slightly more distaste.]
You met him. [Unfortunately.] Do you think he'd let me dominate the conversation? No. He'd say some stupid bullshit. He'd try anything to shut me up. He's always been this-- frustrating fucking-- And I don't even want to have dinner with my brother. I wouldn't subject you to it.
[ He might actually mean that. As futile and partly selfish as Nikos' motivations are, it's a little touching, that insanely bitter protective streak. ]
You're not responsible for him, you know. But don't worry. We won't invite him to dinner in the foreseeable future.
I know I'm not responsible. And he isn't responsible for me, and yet he still--
[Caspar is undoubtably familiar with Nikos' habit of cutting short his own sentences, with the way that his words crowd too close and choke him. He burns from the inside with words, without being able to expel them. Caspar, hopefully, still finds it kind of charming instead of as fully irritating as it actually is.]
He told me he wouldn't lie for me. For you. As if I asked him for that. He told me not to do anything stupid. "When the North is collapsing," [his best unflattering Kostos, sounding barely different than his angry Nikos,] as if he gives an actual shit about the North, truly--as if it meant anything to him the way it should.
[ He does find it kind of charming, for the record. That passion !!!!!!!
Having some actual information instead of blind anger changes things, of course. Caspar can understand the anger, can even sympathize with a good portion of it. Kostos hadn't exactly made an endearing introduction. ]
He's simply trying to make himself relevant, Nikos. To you, to the North. You should take some peace from knowing that he does not understand either.
Spiders will learn to spell before Kostos is interested in making himself relevant to me. Trust me. It is the inconvenience that he thinks of. The interruption. There is opportunity coming. Change. The Inquisition might be half shit, but sift through it and there is the chance that real differences could be enacted, the chance that we could do something--in Nevarra, in Tevinter--one by one, governments, crumbling--opportunities that could be seized, and used--this outdated shit might finally be carried away--and Kostos tells me, preemptive to it all, not to do anything stupid.
He was part of the mage rebellion. The less daring part, that held the door, maybe. Fucking bastard.
[ Nikos has called his brother a hypocrite before, so it isn't as if this is all news. It is, however, a little difficult to discern where family squabbling stops and an actual, legitimate obstacle starts. ]
Even better. If he's happiest being irrelevant and out of trouble, perhaps that will keep him out of our way. And his opinion is irrelevant — change will happen whether he finds it convenient or not. Whether we're here or not, frankly, though I hope we can be of some use.
[That's a positive and non-sulky way to look at it, wow. Nikos digests the points quickly, before he gives an irritated huff.]
He would get in the way just to make a point. Just because.
[He's still angry, but it's harder to be yelling angry when Caspar is making a point. This time it's harder. Not always.]
And I don't know that we'll be allowed. If we're here, we have to work within the Inquisition's confines. Even if only on the face of things. Hamstrung by that performance.
Then we'll have to have more than one face. And I may be mistaken, but I don't believe revolution often asks if it's allowed.
[ Sly and teasing, and hardly meant as a real correction. A reminder, maybe, that Nikos should have a bit more faith and a bit less fretting; but still, it's a very fond one. Nikos' point is entirely valid, of course. There will be constraints, and they'll have to make some compromises. Within reason. ]
[Sensibility and teasing. The foundations of Nikos' pillar of anger is weakened. Stubborn, he piles more stone on top, trying to crush Caspar's good sense.
No, is the answer. Instead, irritated (but not angry, certainly not seething any longer):]
[And yet Caspar is terribly sensible and charming and that's unfair. And also: the best.
But once the conversation takes a turn toward the meaningful again, Nikos resumes his glare at the wall. Caspar has tempered the worst of his anger. He's not going to go and find Kostos and punch him in the head, and he's not going to set fire to something in protest of the Inquisition's disinterest. Small concessions. He gnaws on that reassurance, trying to get at the hope of it, to let it live in him the way it lives in Caspar.
[ He answers truthfully, because he's not completely sure what answer Nikos wants more. You can't game everything, and despite old habits, he's got no desire to game this. ]
So long as it's beneficial to the cause, and so long as it's beneficial to me.
[ because, all business and drama aside: it's nice to see you, jackass. ]
[The cause, of course, is the most important. It always is. If Caspar said, outright, I'm staying for you, what would Nikos say? They don't talk like that. He wouldn't want them to.
Nikos, in silence, feels like he's burning from the inside out. He feels like that most of the time, but never more so than when he's talking to Caspar.]
Then I want to make sure it is worth your while. To be here.
sorry about all the bad pick-up lines in our emotional threads
[ That's the real answer. More steady than earnest, which is nearly the same thing for Caspar; and with that soft lilt of fondness and trust that's so easy for him to achieve. After a short, thoughtful pause: ]
Less easy to do through a crystal, perhaps. But I still have every faith.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
did you mean 'reply to this a full month later'
It was early evening, I think.
I sure did how did u know
[Not.]
Amazingly less helpful than him. He told me, without telling me, more than "early evening". Because he's a-- [No words will describe; Nikos scowls deeply at nothing, at the image he has of Kostos in his mind's eye. Like his own face, haloed with slightly more distaste.]
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[ Is this where flattery gets him everywhere??? A solid plan. ]
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Well-observed. [But still.] I know what you're doing. Stop trying to diffuse this. I didn't want you to have to meet him, is my point.
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[ Is it bad that the idea of being Nikos' secret is a little charming? It is, somehow, even as it's becoming increasingly annoying. ]
You knew we'd meet eventually. You should have just done it properly — a nice, awkward dinner. Then you could've at least dominated the conversation.
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You met him. [Unfortunately.] Do you think he'd let me dominate the conversation? No. He'd say some stupid bullshit. He'd try anything to shut me up. He's always been this-- frustrating fucking-- And I don't even want to have dinner with my brother. I wouldn't subject you to it.
And he doesn't deserve it.
no subject
[ He might actually mean that. As futile and partly selfish as Nikos' motivations are, it's a little touching, that insanely bitter protective streak. ]
You're not responsible for him, you know. But don't worry. We won't invite him to dinner in the foreseeable future.
[ ooc wink here ]
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I know I'm not responsible. And he isn't responsible for me, and yet he still--
[Caspar is undoubtably familiar with Nikos' habit of cutting short his own sentences, with the way that his words crowd too close and choke him. He burns from the inside with words, without being able to expel them. Caspar, hopefully, still finds it kind of charming instead of as fully irritating as it actually is.]
He told me he wouldn't lie for me. For you. As if I asked him for that. He told me not to do anything stupid. "When the North is collapsing," [his best unflattering Kostos, sounding barely different than his angry Nikos,] as if he gives an actual shit about the North, truly--as if it meant anything to him the way it should.
this feels so fuckin catty
Having some actual information instead of blind anger changes things, of course. Caspar can understand the anger, can even sympathize with a good portion of it. Kostos hadn't exactly made an endearing introduction. ]
He's simply trying to make himself relevant, Nikos. To you, to the North. You should take some peace from knowing that he does not understand either.
isn't it gr8
Spiders will learn to spell before Kostos is interested in making himself relevant to me. Trust me. It is the inconvenience that he thinks of. The interruption. There is opportunity coming. Change. The Inquisition might be half shit, but sift through it and there is the chance that real differences could be enacted, the chance that we could do something--in Nevarra, in Tevinter--one by one, governments, crumbling--opportunities that could be seized, and used--this outdated shit might finally be carried away--and Kostos tells me, preemptive to it all, not to do anything stupid.
He was part of the mage rebellion. The less daring part, that held the door, maybe. Fucking bastard.
yes immensely
Even better. If he's happiest being irrelevant and out of trouble, perhaps that will keep him out of our way. And his opinion is irrelevant — change will happen whether he finds it convenient or not. Whether we're here or not, frankly, though I hope we can be of some use.
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He would get in the way just to make a point. Just because.
[He's still angry, but it's harder to be yelling angry when Caspar is making a point. This time it's harder. Not always.]
And I don't know that we'll be allowed. If we're here, we have to work within the Inquisition's confines. Even if only on the face of things. Hamstrung by that performance.
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[ Sly and teasing, and hardly meant as a real correction. A reminder, maybe, that Nikos should have a bit more faith and a bit less fretting; but still, it's a very fond one. Nikos' point is entirely valid, of course. There will be constraints, and they'll have to make some compromises. Within reason. ]
Are you planning to ask permission?
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No, is the answer. Instead, irritated (but not angry, certainly not seething any longer):]
I hate it when you do this.
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[ In the tone of a joke, but also only kind of. There's a short pause; when he speaks again, his voice is sincere. ]
You're not wrong to worry, Nikos. But we've handled worse than this, and I have no doubt that we'll handle worse again.
[ Just to make it extra clear that the teasing's for his benefit, and not (entirely) at his expense. ]
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But once the conversation takes a turn toward the meaningful again, Nikos resumes his glare at the wall. Caspar has tempered the worst of his anger. He's not going to go and find Kostos and punch him in the head, and he's not going to set fire to something in protest of the Inquisition's disinterest. Small concessions. He gnaws on that reassurance, trying to get at the hope of it, to let it live in him the way it lives in Caspar.
Instead:]
You're staying, then.
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[ He answers truthfully, because he's not completely sure what answer Nikos wants more. You can't game everything, and despite old habits, he's got no desire to game this. ]
So long as it's beneficial to the cause, and so long as it's beneficial to me.
[ because, all business and drama aside: it's nice to see you, jackass. ]
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Nikos, in silence, feels like he's burning from the inside out. He feels like that most of the time, but never more so than when he's talking to Caspar.]
Then I want to make sure it is worth your while. To be here.
sorry about all the bad pick-up lines in our emotional threads
[ That's the real answer. More steady than earnest, which is nearly the same thing for Caspar; and with that soft lilt of fondness and trust that's so easy for him to achieve. After a short, thoughtful pause: ]
Less easy to do through a crystal, perhaps. But I still have every faith.
[ Just kidding, but only mostly. ]
never be sorry
Oh, shut up.
[--Which he both means that and doesn't mean at the same time.]
I hope your faith is enough to sustain you. Because I'm not doing anything with you over a crystal.